by Adwina E Jackson
At some point or another you and your children will be faced with death.
It’s important that you teach your children that death is merely an aspect of life, and help them become comfortable with the topic.
One of the best things you can do to prepare your children for the prospect of a death is to talk about it with them ahead of time.
Your approach to the subject may vary a little depending on your spiritual beliefs. Some cultures actually embrace the subject of death and see it as an opportunity for re-birth and new life.
It is important that you consider your spiritual and emotional beliefs about death and come to fully embrace them before approaching the topic with your children.
This will help you facilitate a more impacting and clear cut conversation when the time arises to talk about death and dying.
Here are some suggestions for broaching the topic with your children:
Talk With Your Children about the Cycle of Life – Consider discussing death with them at a time that you can naturally incorporate it into part of your conversation. Consider for example when the leaves change colors in the fall, and then die off only to grow back in the spring. Remember to keep things light and easy initially, offering your children ample opportunities to ask questions.
Acknowledge Your Own Feelings – In order for your children to accept death you must first come to terms with it. Children are very sensitive and likely to pick up on your emotional cues about death and dying, thus if you are uncomfortable with the subject they are likely to be too. Take some time to examine your own feelings and become comfortable with the subject before broaching it with your children.
Be Open and Honest about Feelings – Many parents have a natural instinct to shield their children from the grief associated with death, but this can actually be damaging. It is important that you allow your children to understand that death can be sad, and let them know that you are sad if it happens. It is important that children learn to express themselves openly and honesty and learn how to release their emotions when necessary.
Remember when teaching children about death and dying that their initial reactions may be very different from what you would expect.
Rather than focusing on the spiritual or emotional aspects of death they may want to know more about the technicalities, such as how someone is buried and where they go.
Remember that this is perfectly normal. Address each question honestly and age appropriately when they surface, and your children will come to have a healthy understanding of the death and dying process.
Adwina E Jackson is a wife and mother of a young boy. She's also the editor of Inspiring Parenting, an online source of valuable parenting information. Please visit http://www.InspiringParenting.com for helpful and free parenting info. Observe your children's health, growth and development by clicking the website.
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Teaching Children About Death
By Julia Sorensen
Teaching children about death provides the parent an exceptional opportunity to get the true information out to the child regarding the situation itself, and emotions. The truth is that many children, both young and teenage years, often perceive death much differently than adults expect. Some children actually build up anger, which then manifests itself in temper tantrums or violence. However, by teaching children about death, feeding them valuable information, they can learn to handle their emotions in a much healthier way.
For children, the thought of losing a parent is usually the most difficult to hear or understand. Children want and expect parents to live forever, always being there as a number one support system. We all know that life will end and for some, much too soon. Preparing and teaching children about death at the right age and time will help them deal with these fears, accepting the inevitable. Some of the areas that need to be covered include the reality of death, having respect for death, equality of life and therefore, death, opening up emotionally, communicating fear, getting support, celebrating the person's life, not death, and remembering that person in a positive, loving way.
When teaching children about death, it is essential they understand it is a reality, something that everyone will one day face. With this, the child will not feel as though he or she was singled out. It is also crucial to help the child understand that even when a loved one is gone, it is okay and even healthy to remember them. This could include placing flowers on the grave, getting a favorite picture displayed in the home, or some other way. Often, allowing the child to talk about the person who died, sharing memories and stories is a great means of communication and venting.
Then, teaching children about death should always include celebration of life. Help the child focus on the beautiful things he or she learned from or shared with the person. You can teach your child to see the lessons that individual provided, special things that are unique to the person.
Teaching children about death does not have to be graphic, morbid, or even sad, but realistic and above all, being willing to answer the child's questions in a way that he or she would understand but honestly. Remember, kids are smart and they know when they are being given a line or not told all the facts. Show respect to the child about this important subject and he or she will likely grasp what you say easier.
For more free resources, visit http://www.thecbtcoach.com Julia Sorensen is the author of "Overcoming Loss Stories and Activities to Help Children Transform Grief and Loss" Published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers:
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http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Loss-Activities-Transform-Childrens/dp/1843106469/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211472762&sr=8-1
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